I have so much left to cry

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I have so much left to cry.

Did it occur to you?

That perhaps behind those many smiles

Lies a silence

That won’t die.

I have so much left behind.

All of those days

Of joyful trust

And of those dreams

Barely untouched…

I never came to realise

That I had so much left to cry

Before I’m ready

To hold one’s gaze,

Before the sun

Can rise again.

I have so much left to fear,

And question,

And pray for.

So much to be seen

And cared

And fought for.

And as I know,

This day will come:

Inevitable rise,

From the depths

Of a black-ink storm,

I shall soon get up

And fill the sky

With bursts of laughter

And merry light

But I have so much left to learn

That I don’t know

Which one will first

From my mistakes

Or deepest hurts

Teach me the greatest way

To grow.

I feel them roll and roll,

Like long time dreams

Buried in snow

Down by my cheeks,

Gently, they roll.

So I stop by the window

And sit.

The winter cold

Blushing my cheeks

Gives me a little time.

To rest

And think.

I can see clearly now

From a bird’s eye view...

All the days I have denied

Fighting with fierce for what was mine

I never seemed to understand

That overwhelmed and somewhat tried

I still had so much left to cry. —

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